"Torn"

by Rachael Scarlette

An Englishman has honour,
An Englishman has fame,
A gentlemanly manner
To justify his claim to the highlife,
Horses, heirs, cards, clubs, and a
Practical, ornamental wife.
Not me.
Forced behind an act, enter the spineless fool,
Taken as a nitwit, empty fashion's tool.
The stage of court is undeserving as a lifetime challenge,
For there's something more
I'm dying for
Within this life of jig-sawed pretend:
A love to treasure and forever cherish.
Our friendship promised bounteous, overflowing and alive.
No matter how much this world could storm, I knew we would survive.
Instead the love we had twisted itself to strife,
And without her, I lose my life.
This Romeo is bleeding, though you cannot see his blood.
Something has grown a canker in our love's rosebud.
We fight, fight with love and hate, and into stony silence fade.
Nothing more, temptations over, the traitors are betrayed
With trust misplaced, and confusion reigns,
While poisonious guilt runs through my veins.
As France pleads and cries "Save me from my hearse!" I am
Torn, torn 'twix love and duty; the gift is also a curse.
I am so close to her and yet so far away. I married
A murderess - What is there left to say?
I imagined perfection, Heaven personified,
Raised above on a pedestal, unable to meet eye to eye.
Elated, decorated, always higher,
A statue of my heart's desire
And still I can't abscond, like a moth about the flame,
Even when unjustly on me she lays all the blame.
The entire episode is driving us apart,
Every arrow shot at her rives me to the heart.
She fears me too cold, high, flown away, when
I've never wanted to be closer, touch, caress,
Kiss, slowly, gently, let passion take her breath away.
How can you say I do not call?
All I want is to be there and catch you when you fall.
The court crows caw, flocking round the dove.
And I leave her.
What doctrine says that I should be tested for unrequited love?
She already has it.
The worldly think they know the extent and shame of human pride?
I can say quite safely that they haven't even tried.